In Lombok, Indonesia, the Sasaks practice a unique culture of Wetu Telu, simply put Waktu Tiga. Instead of 5, they only practice 3 Pillars of Islam. The Sasaks believe everything in life goes thru three stages; There is a past, a present, and a future. You born, you live, and then you die.
This unique concept of trinity is the Sasaks’ sacred fact of life, and it goes in parallel, or in sequence, but it is continuous.
Maybe that's why every ending is a new beginning.
When I was 29, my boyfriend of thirteen years left me for an air stewardess, who probably owns a Chanel bag and other things I wanted but couldn’t have. When he left, he took away all sense of security and self-esteem that I had left with him.
We all know that pain. It usually started with the creeping feeling of uneasiness. For me, it was one night in July when all my 30 phone calls was unanswered. In November, it segued into suspicious numbers in his cell phone, and ultimately, the discovery of text messages from the other woman.
I left that night when I found out he was cheating on me. I also silently gave him a six months grace period, hoping that he’d realize that this was all a phase, and he’d come back to me.
The good news was; he did come back to me.
The bad news? It didn’t last.
We broke up and made up so many times in a span of two years, it became apparent to me that this must be the true process of breaking up. A break up doesn’t happen overnight. The reality is, there is the verbal declaration of the intention, followed up with reconciliation.I believe this stage is when either party wanted the companionship while waiting for someone better comes along or foolishly believing that the relationship will work again. Then, they’d fight again and realize that it’s not working out, and they break up again. And then someone calls someone, and they’re back together again, this time, maybe thinking a vacation might help mend the rift.
Either way, this is my story, a collection of musings written from a place of confusion in a very dark time. They are mighty evident that insecurities, loneliness, and self-doubt do exist, and you’re not alone.
Love always ends sadly, I believe. But everyone forgets that an old love has to end for a new love to begin.
